The Decision.

July 22,

The day before my 18th birthday, a monumental occasion. I decided to spend my free time doing as many childish things as I could-between chores, lectures and day dreaming I didn't have much  time, but I took advantage of what little time I seized, so let's begin!

I decided to start it off with a hot cup of homemade hot chocolate (even though it was 85 degrees outside and I was wearing a  hoodie) It was delicious! For my first time making it homemade I thought it was pretty drinkable! 

But it did stir up my mischievous side, all of that chocolate and sugar....

That's me thinking up what I wanted to do that day, what havoc I could muster up in a short period of time. And so I started, I had a few hours until my bedtime-which I obviously hid until someone told me to go to bed. 

 All the things I thought to do before I was inevitably thrust into adulthood.

1.) Build a sand village (I suck at castles apparently)

My original thought for this activity was "sand castle" obviously, much to my dismay I discovered that I do not have much of a talent for construction-that is not a career option for me......but I make an excellent building destroyer! 

So that was a lot of work quickly destroyed. It was worth it though, I got sand all over my hands and in my hair-that was an accident, I just forgot I had sand on my hands after  I finished building one of the houses, I was pretty frustrated with my material so my natural response to stress is to run my hands through my hair and make it spiked up all over the place. 

2.) Pick a bunch of weeds and pretend that they are flowers.

When I was little I would pick things from the field next to our house and bring them to my house and put them in vases on the table, I would always get confused when my "flowers" were gone the next morning. 

3.) Do A Cartwheel 

I did do several cartwheels, I was on the gravel driveway and I cut my hand....and ended up extremely dizzy and sat down for a few minutes-which I'm sure looked silly. 

4.) Climb a tree 

This activity made me ashamed to call myself a child. I couldn't climb a tree for the life of me! I don't know where my talent went, but I don't have it in me any longer 

I just looked pathetic when I tried....

I just gave up after that, just like any kid would. But as the sun was setting on my last day of being 17, and I was walking back to the house I started thinking about everything that had happened to me in the past year, the good, the bad and the painful and I realized that it all had to happen to get me to this exact moment, the moment that I decided that I was ready to be an adult, to leave pig tails and tattle telling behind me. I got to the back door, looked over my should at the sun going down over the river, I smiled and walked inside, closing the door firmly behind me. 

I AM _____.

Our third week of lecture phase has been life changing. Everything built on top of each  other, every lecture brought a new step towards Freedom in who we are In Christ and Forgiveness for lies we've believed about ourselfs. Most of my lies I didn't even realize that they were lies! The Devil's sneaky like that.

The teachers this week prayed "Original Design" over all of the staff and students on Wednesday evening and all day on Thursday. What that is is they pray and ask God how He sees a specific person, how He originally designed them and what their giftings are and then they listen for Him to speak. It's an incredible process, I got the opportunity to do this over a few different people and it is great practice on hearing God's voice, and you get to encourage people at the same time! So it's lots of fun.

One hour was scheduled for each person being prayed over, I was extremely nervous when my time came, I was thinking that God was going to reveal my deep, dark secrets to these ladies and I wouldn't have any control on what was being said about me. I was dead wrong.  I sat down on the couch with one of my leaders, and two of the female teachers and they opened by praying aloud and inviting the Holy Spirit to enter the room and speak my Original Design to them, then I sat in silence for 20 minutes as all three of them continuously prayed and wrote down the things they saw and heard about me on little yellow pages, I didn't want to interrupt of course so I just sat quietly in dread about what they were finding out about me.

Finally the 20 minutes was up and they began to read me the things back, I had 6 pages full of blessings and prophecies read to me and my head was spinning (in a good way) when it was all over. Before it was over they all prayed again about what my strongholds (or obstacles) would be that would keep me from fulfilling all of these things God spoke about me. I already had an idea of what it was-I have known my entire life that fear is my strongest weakness, and that was confirmed by two of the three praying. Fear and intimidation were the spirits that were deeply rooted in me, my other stronghold was a surprise at first, I got self hatred, which I didn't think was relevant to me until I took a moment to consider it and it dawned on me that it was true. I was crushed. I had to get these spirits of fear, intimidation and self hatred out of me. I didn't waste any time with it. After  going to God and severing the ties from them to me I felt so light and free and happy, I couldn't stop smiling and giggling.

Please understand that this isn't me being proud and boastful when I say these things, I'm still learning them myself, but these are the things God said about me and how He sees me...

I AM.....

Bold.
Generous.
Joyful.
A leader who leads with conviction.
Confident.
Passionate.
Used to set captives free.
A teacher.
A power evangelist.
A prophetic evangelist.
A voice of reason.
A woman of authority.
An adventurer.
Fearlessly brave.
A dreamer.
A song writer.
A friend.
A bringer of light & peace.
Creative.
A worshipper in stillness.
Fun loving.
Fierce In love.
An arrow in the hands of God.
Beautifully original.
Extraordinary.
Free spirited.
Determined.
A radiant warrior.
Inspiring.
Gentle.
Sitting with Jesus at the right hand of God.
Helping hands.
Smart.
Wise.
A life giver.
A deep thinker.
A threat to Hell.
A winner.
A high achiever.
A protector.
A shield for the weak.
Loved.
Accepted.
A dancer.
More than I know right now.

Some of these were the complete opposite of what I thought of myself, but now this is how I'm starting to see myself, and its wonderful, there is such freedom in looking through God's eyes. He created me and placed these things inside of me and I am just now acknowledging it. I wish everyone could have this experience like I did.....it has changed my perspective of the world and people. I love it. All we have to do is ask God to tell us what He thinks of us and you might be surprised of how fond He is of you.

What are some of you guys Original Design qualities?

A Pain In The Yurt

I have been here for almost 1 month and am already seeing myself change. I believe that I will share with you a flash back, just one of my adventure packed days I have had! This one is especially original.

Saturday, June 22.

I had been in Idaho one full week, I was feeling a little homesick and cooped up so I decided to go Kayaking-to clear my head and get some time alone. I borrowed a one man kayak and got dropped off downriver from the Depot (where I live) I was told it was a 45 minute paddle back "yeah, that sounds pretty nice. I can do that easy." I thought.
I'm glad I went alone because for the first 10 minutes I spent straightening myself out and trying not to capsize.....it was not very graceful or relaxing. I was a bit frightened of going under, but so was Hamster.

Eventually we levelled out and I could paddle nicely, after that it was a beautiful morning! It was the most fun I had had all week, being out on the river at 8:00 am was a wise decision. The air was cool and there was a slight breeze blowing at my back, the sun was just peaking over the tree line, casting shadows. 

My exit snuck up on me, I didn't recognize my house from where I was coming from so I paddled right past it and had to paddle back up stream....it was pretty intense for that early in the morning. There wasn't a bank I could come up next to to step out of the kayak, so I pretty much crawled on top of the front bit and scooted, slowly to shore. It was not very pretty if you have ever tried sitting on top of a kayak while it's in the water you know that it's very wobbly. For the second time that morning I thought I was going to end up falling head first into 3 foot deep water. (It wouldn't have been dangerous, just enough to be annoying and inconvenient) I escaped that misfortune thankfully, but headed straight for the next one. 

In the backyard of the Depot there is a authentic Mongolian Yurt, it is a insulated one room tent that the nomadic Mongolian families live in. ( I encourage you to look into them, I am considering purchasing one to live in.) I went inside to be alone and for the experience of sitting on a bamboo mat in the center of a yurt (which before that day I didn't know they existed) 

The door closed behind me so I got comfortable and got out my journal, I wrote about my morning...I would have stayed longer but my stomach started to sing, I figured it was time for a banana and a bowl of granola. I packed up my things and headed for the door, to my surprise I couldn't push it open, and little did I know that yurts don't have doorknobs on the inside. " Wonderful" I thought. I spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out if there was any kind of lever to make the door swing open, I even went so far as to think that there might be a secret passage way underground that would lead to a room in the Depot. It had only been 30 minutes so I was stupidly optimistic about the situation. 

Me being too cheerful about being trapped.

I settled in again to write, completely confident that someone would happen upon me in the next hour.....and after two hours came and went, with not so much  as a bird on the roof as a visitor I began to wonder  if I should do something. It was beginning to be less enjoyable at this point.

Me, beginning to be myself again. Less cheerful.

I had eaten my snack, drank all my water and nature was calling....I was trapped and couldn't answer that call. But that got me to think, my phone was just about to die but I had just enough juice to make one call, and I gambled with it. I had one of my leaders phone numbers but the day before she had announced that she had misplaced her phone. With this knowledge I made the call and hoped for the best. It rang and rang and with every passing ring my hope dwindled a little more until I was instructed to leave a message-which I didn't bother to do.  I'm sure I looked pathetic sitting on the dusty floor, at a complete lost of what to do when my phone began to vibrate, I dropped my phone on the ground in my scurrying hurry to open it while standing up, I scooped it up and opened it in one fluent motion and planned a rescue. 

Lesson learned, never get closed inside a yurt alone-unless you want to be left there indefinitely. It was a pain in the yurt.....