On the flight from Amsterdam to Nairobi last tuesday evening I took some time and wrote out an entire blog post trying to explain how I decided to come to Africa and the miracles along the way....I haven't posted it. And won't. I'm disappointed that I haven't blogged more since being here, but I have been trying so hard to put together everything I've seen and heard and felt in the past week....I've journaled every night and I've found my entries are jumbled thoughts filled with emotions I can't comprehend into sensible paragraphs.
I've seen real joy for the first time in my life. And that isn't something I can easily explain off the top of my head. It confused me. Still does....this post isn't going to be a self help "How to access the joy of the Lord in 5 simple steps" it's more to help me sort out what I'm thinking, and as my friends, I want you privy to my thoughts.
I know about the joy of the Lord. I've heard about it, I love knowing it exists....have I ever truly experienced it? I couldn't say. If so, Definitely not in the magnitude that I've seen in these Africans faces.
If I come back to Georgia only learning one new thing about God and myself and our relationship....would it be worth it to me? Yes, I think it would...but praise God that multiple seeds have been planted in my mind during this first week. Seeds like "is head knowledge of any real value in my Christian life?" "Is my prayer life something to be more pursued and valued then my social and even physical life?" "What and who am I willing to sacrifice if called to by God?" "Do I really know the truth?" And the biggest running through my head this week...."Do I really believe what I believe is really real?"
These things I will be learning and re-learning I'm sure my entire life...which is awesome and irritating for me. I want to know everything about my God...who he is, what he does.
And I just can't.
This one week in Kenya has been incredible. It's taught me how to live in the moment (which I have never been able to do-I'm always looking ahead in a bad way)
And how to live every moment to the fullest, in taking every opportunity and being mentally all there.
Last night during my quiet time, I was sitting on my bed with my mosquito net cascading down around me. I have been praying for God to teach me something I didn't know about him. I was listening to Mercy Me' s new song Wishful Thinking and praying...when He spoke back to me, giving me a revelation about who he is....
Everyone knows a little bit about how molecules work and how complicated chemical reactions are in a human body and how many cells die in a minute just to be reproduced with a new cell to be replaced a minute later....I was overwhelmed when my mind was opened to understand that God is holding every cell in my body together for his glory...he holds my life and body together every second of my life....and with this exploding in my mind and Mercy Me' s lyrics booming in my ears...my eyes filled with tears....I have never in all my life felt so loved and valued then in that single moment. My God cares so much about me to hold me together...to be the provider of every second of life....and now I'm thinking, my mission now is to learn how to take every second he holds me together to thank him in every second he gives me.
I've seen real joy for the first time in my life. And that isn't something I can easily explain off the top of my head. It confused me. Still does....this post isn't going to be a self help "How to access the joy of the Lord in 5 simple steps" it's more to help me sort out what I'm thinking, and as my friends, I want you privy to my thoughts.
I know about the joy of the Lord. I've heard about it, I love knowing it exists....have I ever truly experienced it? I couldn't say. If so, Definitely not in the magnitude that I've seen in these Africans faces.
If I come back to Georgia only learning one new thing about God and myself and our relationship....would it be worth it to me? Yes, I think it would...but praise God that multiple seeds have been planted in my mind during this first week. Seeds like "is head knowledge of any real value in my Christian life?" "Is my prayer life something to be more pursued and valued then my social and even physical life?" "What and who am I willing to sacrifice if called to by God?" "Do I really know the truth?" And the biggest running through my head this week...."Do I really believe what I believe is really real?"
These things I will be learning and re-learning I'm sure my entire life...which is awesome and irritating for me. I want to know everything about my God...who he is, what he does.
And I just can't.
This one week in Kenya has been incredible. It's taught me how to live in the moment (which I have never been able to do-I'm always looking ahead in a bad way)
And how to live every moment to the fullest, in taking every opportunity and being mentally all there.
Last night during my quiet time, I was sitting on my bed with my mosquito net cascading down around me. I have been praying for God to teach me something I didn't know about him. I was listening to Mercy Me' s new song Wishful Thinking and praying...when He spoke back to me, giving me a revelation about who he is....
Everyone knows a little bit about how molecules work and how complicated chemical reactions are in a human body and how many cells die in a minute just to be reproduced with a new cell to be replaced a minute later....I was overwhelmed when my mind was opened to understand that God is holding every cell in my body together for his glory...he holds my life and body together every second of my life....and with this exploding in my mind and Mercy Me' s lyrics booming in my ears...my eyes filled with tears....I have never in all my life felt so loved and valued then in that single moment. My God cares so much about me to hold me together...to be the provider of every second of life....and now I'm thinking, my mission now is to learn how to take every second he holds me together to thank him in every second he gives me.
